somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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