y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
