what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just found puke in my bra..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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