i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize