if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you guys were way drunker than both of me
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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