just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
