This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Even my vagina gasped.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
