If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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