its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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