sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
