i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
