We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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