yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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