Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
