I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
