Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
