she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
