Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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