just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.