So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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