He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
