you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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