You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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