Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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