yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
