she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I have aggressive nipples.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
