My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
