I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
