I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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