we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
it hurts more in the daytime
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
