At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
