btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
