We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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