Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
