That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
