we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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