Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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