You're so nebulous sometimes
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
