You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
