You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
