Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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