Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize