Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
