we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
