i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i will never coherently bang her
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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