You smell like stripper and shame
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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