literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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