That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
