Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Randomize
