it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
