I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize