No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
