But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
