went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Too much gin, very little bucket
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize