i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
