i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
